


Beautiful Soldier Boy

by FanFicReader01



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Betrayal, Bisexual Carlos, Canon-Typical Violence, Complicated Relationships, Denial of Feelings, Drabbles, Ficlet, Fights, Forbidden Love, Gay, Gay Sex, Internalised Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Prequel, Rarepair, Sexual Tension, Showers, Soldiers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, emotional smut, gay nicholai, only short mention of Mikhail, sad masturbation, tension filled fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23700931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: “Tomorrow I’ll test your skills. See if you’re worth anything,” was all he said instead and left the room without looking back. He wasn’t fan of taking in any new recruits. They often were more of a burden than anything else.OrSnippets of Nicholai and Carlos' complicated relationship both pre and during the RE3remake events.
Relationships: Carlos Oliveira/Nicholai Ginovaef | Nikolai Zinoviev
Comments: 19
Kudos: 27





	1. The new recruit

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write more for this ship.  
> So here we are again. This is one of my takes on how their relation might have been before the events of RE3remake >:)  
> Yes, it's gay becos that's how most ships work lol.

“Nicholai. I want you to meet someone,” the Captain said.

Nicholai raised an uninterested eyebrow but ended up walking toward the barracks with Mikhail anyway. Inside, awaited the new soldier. A young man, his age obscured by scruffy facial hair, was standing in position.

Mikhail introduced them to each other. “Carlos, this is Sergeant Ginovaef. He’ll be you main supervisor beside me. Ginovaef, this is Heavy Weapon Specialist Oliveira. The new recruit.”

“Pleased to meet you, sir!” Carlos stuck out his hand but Nicholai refused to shake it.

“Tomorrow I’ll test your skills. See if you’re worth anything,” was all he said instead and left the room without looking back. He wasn’t a fan of taking in any new recruits. They often were more of a burden than anything else. If only Mikhail wasn’t injured, then he wouldn’t have to carry his burden of taking care of children on the base.

***

But Oliveira clearly proved himself to be a great asset to their team. Even on his first training day with Nicholai, the kid absorbed his feedback quick and applied it even quicker. Although Nicholai didn’t like the many questions at first, most questions were well-founded and reasonable, unlike some unnecessary shit other recruits often annoyed him with.


	2. Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful sexual tension that is sparring with your fellow soldiers, amiright?

Before Nicholai had even realised it, he started to enjoy his time spend with Oliveira and felt it when he wasn’t around. The young man was a damn good player and also a great sparring partner. Next to Mikhail, there were no other soldiers who could keep up with Nicholai in a hand-to-hand combat.

It was as if Oliveira knew about his every single move. But it sure made for interesting sparring matches. At the end of every session, both were soaked in sweat, coated in the strong scent of salt and sometimes even blood.

“You’re finally adapting to my patterns, Nicholai,” the younger man dared to say during one of their usual training sessions. Cocky boy.

Nicholai, no longer bothered with his subordinate calling him by his first name, smirked and countered: “Or you’re finally falling behind.” That earned him a chuckle from the other man. Before the Russian was really aware of it, he patted him on the shoulder.

They were the only ones in the showers that evening. Something Nicholai didn’t mind. He’d rather have some privacy when most of his defences were down like that. When he was most exposed, weak. However, not ashamed or at unease among men, the two soldiers stood next to each other, letting hot water rain down on them and washing away the filth of the day. Carlos’ sudden hiss drew Nicholai’s attention to the smaller man. He noticed some blood at the man’s dark temple. The older man watched as the blood dripped down along a surprisingly soft looking cheek. The droplets falling down Carlos’ jawline and onto the tiled floor beneath them.

“I see I got you good,” he commented with a smug grin of small victory. Lately, it had gotten more difficult to win from the younger man.

Carlos rolled his eyes. “I’m fine. I didn’t even notice it at first.”

“Sure,” Nicholai huffed.

While Carlos spoke again, Nicholai looked at the guy rubbing his soap filled hands into his messy, black hair that now stuck to his face. “You know, you’ll have to try harder if you want to really hurt me.”

Nicholai said nothing. Instead, he gawked at the white, almost creamy substance of the hair gel dribble down into Carlos’ strong neck and then roll down over his toned, hairy chest and slide over abs. His eyes darted back to Carlos when he felt the guy’s eyes on him.

“You’re still pondering over how I defeated you?” Carlos sniggered. The little shit. Nicholai swallowed thickly and shook his head in denial.

“No, no. You just were lucky this time.” He then focused back on himself. He closed his eyes, as if to withhold himself from staring again. He quickly washed off the soap on his body, closed the tap and walked off, leaving Carlos behind. As he was already reaching for his towel, he heard the younger man call him. “Hey, Nicholai, you’re up for a drink afterward?”

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered a half absent reply. He was trying to put the focus away from his fellow soldier. Because without having a say in his own darn body, Nicholai could feel a fire ignite in the pit of his stomach. One he did not expect to pester him for much longer than just now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we see a fun display of gay af Nikolai, yet he doesnt' even dare to assume he might be attracted to a male.  
> Yanno, ye good old internalised homophobia
> 
> Also, this fic is a great outlet for my thirst for Carlos, like yess.... hot snack, hot unit. oh god.


	3. The promotion

For once, Nicholai thought a promotion was earned. He was glad to hand the title of Corporal to the ‘rookie’, although Carlos had clearly surpassed that definition. The group had celebrated at a local bar and afterward everybody went their own way. It was weekend. Some people could go home, to their actual families. Nicholai not so much. Not that he bothered about not having his own place. The base was his home. Just like it was to Carlos as well. Maybe he and the young soldier had more in common than initially thought.

Nicholai and Carlos walked back to the military base together with only the light of the moon to light the way for the final part of their trip.

“Who would have thought you’d get promoted this quickly?”

“Wait, you didn’t expect it?” Carlos snorted.

Nicholai chuckled. He expected it but he’d never tell the guy. He was already cocky enough on his own at times.

“Anyway, it’s thanks to your training and harsh feedback I got this far,” Carlos grinned, friendly bumping his shoulder into Nicholai’s. The quick touch shouldn’t spark something inside him, but it did. He tried to brush it off and instead focused on the sound of their boots trampling on the concrete. They were finally at the barracks. He followed Carlos into his room and the younger guy didn’t question it. While Carlos put some stuff aside, Nicholai leaned into the door opening, watching.

“You really deserved it,” he eventually stated, now that nobody else could hear them. “I don’t often think people should get promoted.”

Carlos took off his tight shirt and replaced by a looser T-shirt. He chuckled and while he was slipping into his pyjamas, he commented: “That’s a great compliment, coming from you, Nicholai. You’re a relentless teacher but it helped me a lot.”

Suddenly the guy stood in front of the Russian. His eyes filled with mirth and a hint of mischief. Nicholai held his breath, not sure why they stood so close.

“I’m serious,” Carlos said. His eyes were searching for something. Nicholai felt them linger on his mouth. Then the younger man closed their distance. Full lips connecting to his thin lips. Nicholai gasped, needing some air after holding his breath for so long.

Carlos sniggered amused and fucking _winked_. That cheeky bastard. “You’re a great instructor. Ruthless, but always rightful and-” The rest of the words became blurred. Nicholai wasn’t listening anymore. Couldn’t. His head was spinning. The burning inside his body was getting out of control. _Fuck_. The rest happened so fast. He slammed the door behind them shut. Then one of his hands grabbed Carlos’ collar and pulled the man against him. Next, his mouth firmly pressed against the other’s. They both still tasted the alcohol from the bar on each other. Nicholai’s knee was pressed between the smaller man’s legs. The subtle feeling of his manhood excited him. But as quick as the urge came, it also subdued.

They let go of each other. Carlos was all flustered, a deep red etched in his dark skin. Nicholai was not someone who used the word ‘cute’ at all, but maybe he had to make an exception for now.

“I’m going to bed too,” he said, as neutral as possible.

Carlos nodded as if he understood. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Once Nicholai was back in his own private quarters, he locked the door and thudded onto his bed. He muffled a curse into his fist until his knuckles turned pale. Damn it. That had been the perfect timing, he thought. _To do what, Nicholai?_ That annoying, nagging belittling voice rang in his head. _To pin him to the bed and fuck him hard and dirty, and maybe kiss him_ softly _afterward._ Nicholai hid his face in his big hands. He let out a groan. Angrily and frustrated he kicked out his boots. He got rid of his pants and slipped underneath the rough blankets. He didn’t bother to put on a different shirt. Once he made sure he was completely alone in this building, and Carlos one floor away, he dared to exhale properly. Nicholai’s hand slid down to his abdomen and into his boxers, palming himself. He was already this hard. He kept his eyes shut tight. Images of dark skin and curly hair and thick lips flashed in front of him. An imaginary deep voice purred into his ears like honey sweet poison. It was all he needed to get off for tonight. He ended up with his hand dripping with lust and shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's bisexual Carlos for ya! I felt they weren't going to kiss if it had to depend on Nicholai alone so.  
> Aargh, they were _this_ close to doing more than just making out, oof :') But at least some tension has been eased... for now.  
> Nicholai, you can't expect your feelings to just melt away.


	4. Dream

In his dream, Nicholai was rendered powerless. Pinned down by hard wrists and dark, beautiful eyes. He was writhing but he somehow loved it. For once, he didn’t have to be in control. He didn’t have to think ahead. When his eyes closed, he could completely focus on the sensation inside him that was the initial stinging, and the fulfilment afterward. Everything else got drowned out into a sweet oblivion.

By the time Nicholai opened his eyes again, he wished he could dream a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people say that in your dreams, your deepest desires are shown.  
> Lol, guess what Nicholai wants (that happens if you don't have a proper outlet for your feelings)


	5. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicholai is hard  
> in denial still 
> 
> But Carlos is onto something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for more sexual tension >:D and Nicholai trying to ignore his obvious feelings.  
> God, it's interesting and fun to write about this ship. In the remake they don't seem to have much interaction and it's either kind of neutral or hostile (ending)  
> But a lack of much interaction has never stopped me before in shipping and writing for a ship 😏

Nicholai knew everything would be different between them from that night on. He was right, in some way. However, Carlos seemed to be less affected by it then he was. Their training continued. Missions kept coming as well. But every time when Nicholai was up close with Carlos during their sparring, he could feel the heat build up again, growing stronger and less beatable every single time. So besides their mandatory training, Nicholai had decided to avoid the younger guy. To his annoyance, and secret relief, Carlos still wanted to be close to his second supervisor. However, Nicholai was a busy man and more than ever, he made sure he had his hands full with other tasks.

But the suppressed heat inside him, could only ever be contained for so long. One night, it just must’ve poured out of him because Carlos had picked up on it.

All day Nicholai had been teaching the recruits. It was already evening when the final recruit left. The Russian mercenary was packing things up when someone knocked on the door. He could feel his heart drop to his feet when he saw who it was. Carlos fucking Oliveira.

“You forgot our training,” he simply specified his presence.

Nicholai hissed. He didn’t want to feed the kid’s ego but this might be the only way to get rid of him: “You’re skilled enough. You don’t have to train every single day.” It was a stupid excuse. Even the best soldiers have to keep their skills sharp.

“You think so?” Carlos smirked. There it is, that blatant self-confidence.

Nicholai only rolled his eyes. “You dare question _me_?”

“It just doesn’t sound like you. As you said once, you’re not genuine with throwing compliments around.”

Carlos now basically stood next to the taller man who let out an annoyed sigh. “Do you want to challenge me?”

“If that gets you to spar with me, then yes,” Carlos grinned.

The Russian put his bag down and rolled up his sleeves before stepping onto the mat. “Very well, _Corporal_ Oliveira. I won’t go easy on you.”

Kicks were exchanged. Flying fists got blocked by equally strong arms or legs. Sometime, the two men were just circling each other, waiting who was going to strike first. It was like a wild dance. No words were spoken. Only grunts and huffs escaped their throats.

But unlike usual, Nicholai was somewhat more distracted. It was that damn heat that was flaring up again. Trying to not focus too much on Carlos’ muscles or his groans, led Nicholai to get floored rather easily. Even Carlos realised something was off.

“What’s the matter, Nicholai?” he growled.

“Nothing,” he hissed back and tried to knock the smaller guy off of him. It didn’t’ work.

“You’re not yourself,” Carlos continued. When Nicholai ran out of words to say, he spit at the other guy. It was a dirty move but the only thing he was capable of.

The pale man’s face froze when he saw the guy on top of him merely smirk and stick out his tongue, licking away the saliva that got on the corner of his mouth.

But then Carlos’ expression turned back into a scowl. “ _Answer me,_ _Nicholai!_ ” It sounded surprisingly desperate. He truly wanted to know what was going on. Heck, even if the Russian could supply him with an answer, he wouldn’t tell him. Maybe it was pride. Or shame. Maybe both.

“What are you talking about?” He knew damn well.

“You’re avoiding me more and more. Are you jealous or why is it? Are you finally sick of me?” Carlos snarled. _Only sick enough to feel for you_.

“No,” came Nicholai’s flat reply.

Carlos remained silent afterward but didn’t let the taller man go. He peered at him, still searching for answers Nicholai didn’t really have. Carlos’ intense eyes were too much but he couldn’t get away. His entire body felt motionless.

“Oh, I think I know what this is about,” the dark haired man finally broke the heavy silence. A smug grin crept up his lips.

“What?” Nicholai taunted, secretly afraid of what the answer will be.

“You like me. Or you feel at least _something_ and that’s why you’re trying to avoid me,” Carlos sounded confident and victorious in his tone and it infuriated the man trapped beneath him. Before he could see it coming, Nicholai freed one of his hands and his fist flew into Carlos’ face, finally throwing him off the other.

Nicholai gasped, only now realising he had been holding his breath. He stared at Carlos, who had gripped to his nose. He was bleeding. _Shit._ What had come over him? He wasn’t thinking straight.

“Fucking hell, Nicholai,” Carlos cursed as he stumbled back.

The older soldier got back on his feet as well and took his bag off the ground. “Come. I’ll patch you up.”

Despite the strange situation, Carlos obeyed and followed Nicholai to his private barrack. Once the door was closed and locked, the younger man removed the hand from his bloodied face. Nicholai for once regretted punching someone like that. It had been unreasonable and idiotic. A strange impulse he never experienced before. For once, he didn’t intend to use violence.

His fingers hovered over Carlos’ nose. When his fingertips touched the bridge, the other soldier grunted.

“It doesn’t seem to be broken,” Nicholai muttered, more to himself than to Carlos.

“Luckily for you, what the hell was that about?”

“It won’t happen again.” His way of saying sorry. Nicholai dabbed a wet tissue under Carlos’ nostrils, removing most of the blood. Once again, there was that spark in his stomach. Tension filled the empty air around them.

“I’m fine, _Nicholai_.” Carlos suddenly grabbed his wrist. The older man blinked and realised he’d been touching the other man’s face longer than necessary.

He was met with playful eyes and then Carlos lips brushed against his. There was still a hint of blood on him. The careful kiss which felt more like a ghostly touch, turned into more. Nicholai closed his eyes and let himself indulge a little, catching Carlos’ lower lip between his teeth. His hands kept the younger man steadily in place, the latter leaning into the hungry action. His forehead was now pressed against Nicholai’s. For a minute they just stood their, breathing in the dense air and each other. The smell of sweat, a hint of blood and something that must’ve been Carlos’ essence, sneaked into Nicholai, intoxicating him.

In a daze, they stumbled backward until they crashed onto the bed. Nicholai below and Carlos on top. Their kisses were ravenous and desperate. As if even tongue and teeth weren’t enough for them. The older soldier slipped, let himself get caught in the moment. He hoped Carlos could override his reason in this very moment so he wouldn’t have to listen to that nagging voice in the back of his head. He clutched onto the other man as said man was lowering his kisses. Teeth scraped against Nicholai’s stubbled throat. His hands ran into Carlos’ neck and then buried themselves in the younger man’s hair. When Carlos pressed his lips against his Adam’s apple, Nicholai gasped, tightening his grasp around the other man’s hair. The other merc’s hands then also started to explore some more. He felt up the older man’s chest, rubbing circles over his pecs. Nicholai was in such haze, he couldn’t properly react, only _feel_. And fuck, did it feel _good_. Carlos had just the right weight and mass. The man took off his shirt and Nicholai let his eyes fall onto that well build shape. Dark hairs were scattered all over the men’s chest and it spread down his abs, getting more concentrated the further it went down. The Russian let his hand drift above the chest, he could almost feel those hairs tickle his fingertips. Carlos took his hand and placed it over his heart. A steady, strong heartbeat. Nicholai gulped. Then the hunger overtook him again. His calloused hand slid down, applying enough pressure to feel the muscles beneath hard skin. He wanted _more_. Rid of reason and shame, he groped the other man’s crotch and squeezed, rubbed. Carlos huffed and rocked his hips into the teasing hand. The friction was felt in Nicholai’s loins.

Almost with a critical gaze he witnessed the arousal getting visible and tangible.

“Take it off,” he _commanded_.

Carlos stood up and got rid of his pants and then he straddled the older man once more. His briefs left nothing to the imagination and Nicholai subconsciously licked his lips. Oh, he craved.

Not much later, both no longer wore their pants or underwear .Carlos was still on top. He was grinding against the other mercenary who groaned and growled. Nicholai’s cock was aching. _More, more, more._ And just like that, it was handed to him on a silver platter, so to speak. Carlos took both of them in his hand and started pumping. It left both men panting heavily. Nicholai joined his hand and while they were stroking each other, even the simple touch of the other man’s fingers against his, were driving him mad. Then he suddenly felt Carlos lowering his attention. His hand slid between his butt cheeks and Nicholai grunted in initial confusion and protest.

“Shh, this is going to feel good,” Carlos whispered. His voice had never sounded _that_ deep before. An entire shiver went through the older man’s frame, and straight to his cock.

Carlos was teasing his entrance. For a second he stopped, to wet his fingers and make it more pleasurable for both. When he pushed, Nicholai let out an uncensored moan. He was reminded of his dream and how much he hated that he had enjoyed it so much and left him wanting more.

Carlos’ sweet talk drew him back into the world of pleasure and sensation. Blissfully his rational thoughts being stolen from him, he surrendered to those strong arms, agile fingers and a husky voice with a thick accent (though very different from his own) that could make him believe anything in that moment. Goddamn it.

Carlos was slickening himself up, nudging the tip of his cock against Nicholai’s hole, every now and then brushing his shaft against the other man’s balls in a teasing way.

“I’m going in,” he purred and it shouldn’t sound so hot.

Nicholai bit down on Carlos’ shoulder when he thrusted inside. A sharp pain rippled through his body at first. And Carlos held still for seemingly a long time. Nicholai refused to open his eyes. He was kind of afraid that once he’d open them, this beautiful illusion would be broken, the veil would be lifted, an image destroyed.

“Nicholai,” it was said in the sweetest way possible. That should be illegal. Nobody had ever called him in such tone. Not even the female whores he’d fucked back in the old days.

He then made the mistake to open his eyes and was met with such gentle, dark eyes. It was almost unbearable for him. It almost made him cry.

“Are you okay?” the younger man wanted to know.

Still too stunned to speak, Nicholai only nodded. Carlos seemed to be unaware of the internal turmoil he was going through and moved on.

“Good, I’m going to move again,” the young merc announced. The first rolls of his hips were slow, careful. He was attentive to his partner’s reactions before increasing his pace. And all Nicholai could do, _wanted_ , was to absorb everything Carlos had to offer. The strong thrusts, his cock rubbing against his most sensitive spot, those restless hands stretching out over Nicholai’s paler skin, that sinful mouth against his, drinking him in completely. His name was breathed into his skin.

Nicholai dug his nails into Carlos’ back as he got fucked into the mattress. The bed was creaking loudly but he didn’t care. All that mattered was the man on top of him. The fire that had always slumbered inside of him was spilling out. Reaching new heights. Heating up his limbs, burning up his heart.

Carlos came first, leaving quite a mess behind. Nicholai soon felt the other man’s hand wrap around his throbbing cock, jerking him off quickly. He cried out pathetically and shuddered when he finally climaxed, spilling seed onto his stomach and into Carlos’ hand.

Then Carlos kissed him, continued to lay close. Nicholai could feel the other man’s heat, his heartbeat. It was so different than his. For a moment, he closed his eyes again. Just to feel that heart beat with him, feel the other man’s body warmth radiate into his, mingle and go up in the air around them.

His subconscious thirst had been quenched. The fires had consumed what they wanted. And maybe for this still moment in life, everything was okay and Nicholai knew real peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah, it was kind of difficult to find the right setting for them to bang and to make sense xD  
> But there you have it >:) (Whoops, the smut is the longest chap ) Bless bisexual Carlos for actually taking the upper hand (Oh, Nicholai _wishes _he were a top in this. Maybe another day i'll write top! Nicholai) I feel like, at least in this setting but maybe in another au as well, that only impulsive actions make Nicholai initiate anything romantic or sexual. He is too much of a guy who lives by reason and logic, that he can't act on actual feelings without overthinking it, so ofc it has to be something 'unreasonable' like a weird 'impulse' that make him take action  
>  Woops, a part of that smut turned out more emotional and soft than I intially wanted but Carlos is Carlos and even though Nicholai is an overall jerk, Carlos heart too big to be a ruthless fuck (literal in this context lmao) Beside obvious physical attraction, I like to think that Carlos is genuinely intruiged by this strange guy. Like, he likes to taunt, play, see how far he can push the guy. And Carlos is still young and naive, maybe another factor of why he can fall for a guy like Nicholai.__
> 
> _  
> _Also, I feel like Nicholai is somehow more at ease with other men/people who are on his level? And since he considers Carlos as a great contributing asset in the team, that's why he's remotely nicer to him, also in canon. Well, as far as 'nice' goes with Nicholai xD He's a complicated, difficult guy after all. And I think he likes when there are people who aren't afraid to bite back at him. And in such way, he considers Carlos almost as an equal.  
>  But oh boy, Nicholai and feelings were never a great mix, not in the straight fics and not in the gay fics xD  
>    
> Like in that one part "Only sick enough to feel for you" I didn't write "Only sick enough to love you" becos that word does not exist in Nicholai's dictionary  
> So when Carlos suddnely turns really soft and gentle, it's such a foreign idea, concept and act, Nicholai just _loses _it.  
>  Anyway, enough rambling i hope you can make something out of that blabbering mess of mine xD I just had to get it out :')___  
>  _


	6. Aftermath of a storm and stolen moments

Life went on like nothing had happened. But both men knew there was something going on between them now. Something complicated but they mutually enjoyed it in silence. Luckily, it went above everyone else’s heads, even Mikhail with whom they were closest.

The most important thing was that the tension had somewhat calmed down and Nicholai could think clearly again. He locked that very eventful night somewhere in the deepest parts of his mind. And he was glad that Carlos didn’t mention it again, not even the morning after. Finally someone who understood him.

He continued his training with Corporal Oliveira and even taught him some new knife tricks. The only thing that had really changed, was the shower part after their sparring sessions. Not wanting to lose himself once more to bodily whims Nicholai decided to wait for the other guy to finish first before entering the showers. Carlos didn’t question it. However, that self-made restriction hadn’t stopped him to sometime throw meaningful looks at the younger man when no one else was looking. Hold the man’s gaze just a little bit longer. Every once in a while, their fingers touched when walking passed each other. And when they were out of sight of their fellow soldiers, Nicholai allowed himself to enjoy Carlos’ mouth against his for just a second. Those were small and super brief intimate interactions but it was all Nicholai needed to remain sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')


	7. A new mission awaits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell breaks lose in Raccoon City.

The U.B.C.S. force were given a new task dubbed: _Operation Raccoon City_. They had been deployed into a zombie infested city, given the order to evacuate and save all remaining survivors.

_You have to collect data from these events. Find out how successful the B.O.W. and zombies truly are._

_We need you to destroy the hospital, no evidence must be found._

_Additional, you will record the effectiveness of the Nemesis._

The sum of all the data he could collect could be worth a million if not more. Nicholai had not hesitated to accept the offer. Finally, a mission that was well worth his time.

***

Well-equipped, the teams had been send out. The night was still young but the city was in utter chaos already. They sat in a helicopter with their compact team. Mikhail as their Captain and team leader.

Carlos was with them as well. Nicholai observed the younger man. He was talking with another merc, Tyrell Patrick. Their banter seemed to carefree. Naïve. If one was not cautious during this mission, they’d end up dead. However, Nicholai was sure that Carlos would not be distracted and that he would execute his orders properly like he’d done so many times in the past.

No, Nicholai had nothing to fear regarding Oliveira, he was a competent soldier then and now.

***

Even a well-equipped party was apparently not enough to face the dangers the stinking city threw at them. The losses were immeasurable. More than half of their platoon was dead. All because of Nicholai’s ‘special’ orders. Not that the Russian really cared about those other soldiers. They were merely cannon food and one step closer to his monetary reward. People with numbers he had not memorised that well. If he survived all this, that would be enough. Yet something was nagging in the back of his mind. It wasn’t the voice of reason this time, it was something irrational. He smothered the thought together with the one surviving soldier he’d gotten a hold of. Once the man’s lifeless body dropped to the ground, Nicholai double checked with stabbing his knife in the head. Not only to make sure the man was really dead, but also to prevent him from turning into one of those mindless freaks.

He should soon re-join with Carlos and Mikhail, give them an update on the situation so they wouldn’t grow suspicious. Especially the latter could be distrustful. On that matter, Corporal Oliveira was easier to handle.


	8. Miss Valentine

While he was scavenging the area for supplies and stranded civilians, Nicholai was also collecting new data on some shot zombies, extracting some of their flesh and storing it safely in small plastic bags. He hid it under his garment and suddenly got a radio call from Oliveira. He had found a surviving S.T.A.R.S. member, one Jill Valentine. From the young mercenary’s voice, he sounded pretty impressed by the woman’s actions. However, Nicholai was not moved and instead felt like their mission had just become more dangerous. He assumed having an extra member to look after, would only be liability, especially if it was true that she was one of the survivors of the Mansion Accident back in the early summer.

His assumptions got confirmed when he met her in a garage on one of the main streets. One of his own men was lying against a car. Bleeding to death. A weakling. Before even remembering his name or listening to his pleas, Nicholai got up close and shot the merc in cold blood. That was one threat less. Miss Valentine had been sitting next to the dead man before he was officially dead, already a first aid spray in her hand, attempting the impossible. She stood up and he was met with utter shock and disgust all readable on her face.

Her self-preservation was clearly lacking. Obviously too soft-hearted.

Nicholai didn’t need someone like that in his team. After he told her to stay out of this thing and walked away, the Russian soldier wondered if Corporal Oliveira would be able to pull the trigger when it counted. He wanted to believe he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Murphy  
> Today I finally came to read the note you can find next to his corpse and oof, dang Nikolai. Also makes me glad on how i wrote Murphy in the coffee shop AU: thinking his team is nice except for the asshole manager xD


	9. Obstacle

Nicholai had secretly listened in on Carlos and Miss Valentine’s exchange of words. Admiration was the main word he could plaster onto the younger soldier’s voice whenever he heard him talk to that woman. Something about that stung. The older man honestly could not see what was so admiring or intriguing about Miss Valentine other than that it was truly remarkable someone as weak as her could’ve survived the Mansion Accident.

Tyrell and he had been scouting the area and were returning back to check in with the other two remaining U.B.C.S. survivors. Nicholai was about to update to Carlos who met him at the entrance, telling him there was no use of fighting their way out of the city without taking more damage than they could handle, especially with Mikhail heavily wounded.

Instead, his eyes trailed away from the merc and onto the woman who stood next to him. A sudden anger boiled up in him and he called her out.

“She’s helping get the trains running again,” came Carlos innocent reply.

Ignoring the fact that Miss Valentine had succeeded in that task, Nicholai pointed out she’d only be dead weight. To everyone, to him, to Carlos.

“Hey, take it easy,” Carlo said instead. Oh, how naïve and young he was. Sometimes that guy wasn’t any different from the other young soldiers back at the base.

Nicholai snarled and walked passed them but not before adding something crucial, for once outing genuine concern for one of his teammates and of course it had to be Carlos in particular: “ _She’ll get you killed.”_ Although genuine, it’s disguised in a hostile tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The obstacle is Jill :')  
> I smell serious jealous gay anger coming from the talking silver trash can


	10. In motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only life that matters is your own unless it's the handsome soldier boy that accompanies you :)

While Miss Valentine was making herself useful, though also subjected herself as running bait, Nicholai was also out in the city. Suddenly he had a call from his special ‘intel’. They told him about the Nemesis, that monster chasing the woman. Nicholai shouldn’t be surprised but that new fact only hammered home his point: she was a threat to them. The good news: if he’d properly collect combat data from the Tyrant, that would be an added bonus to his salary. Definitely worth the risk and it would be a fun show to watch for sure.

He returned to the subway station where the other mercenaries held up. New orders had come in for the younger mercenaries. They had to find doctor Bard who was probably stationed in the Hospital. Nicholai wasn’t too pleased to hear about Carlos staying behind for a mission that was already doomed to fail. Even worse, he’d have an active role in making sure their surface level mission would fail. Because after he’d escape with Mikhail and the few citizens left, he’d have to somehow fake his own death to return to the city and also go look for the wicked scientist and execute him.

The seasoned veteran almost considered Carlos’ strong skills a wasted potential with this suicide task. But he would be pleasantly surprised if the young man would succeed in his goal, that would mean he had outwitted the Russian soldier, even if the poor kid didn’t know he did.

Then that cursed woman got onto the train with them. She was too much of a distraction to the younger mercenary who was awfully smitten with her. He had already risked his goddamn life for her on more than one occasion and it had frustrated the Russian to no end.

“The only life that matters is your own,” he even repeated it to her as she stood in front of him.

And now she left her admirer to die in this stinking city. Carlos deserved better than that. He was indeed a waste of potential.

Finally the train started moving and they got absorbed into the darkness of the tunnel with only the train lights providing weak lighting. Nicholai walked with Mikhail, testing the waters, questioning if some pathetic weak ass like a scientist would still be alive. Of course, there was a stupid chance he might live (cowards always managed to outlive others somehow) but in that case Nicholai had to find the guy before the other mercs and put a bullet in his head. It would be quick, effortless just like he had killed Seeker. Ah yes, Murphy Seeker that was his name.

“Why? Are you worried about teammates? Or something else?” Mikhail’s words dripped with disbelief. And rightfully so, Nicholai had never been a true team player, more concerned with his own survival and his own profit in it all. This mission was no different.

Then the Captain continued to out his distrust of his subordinate. He didn’t cover it in sugar or euphemisms. Direct to the point, on the offence. Mikhail, witty as ever, Nicholai thought. He liked that in the other man. His eyes were fixed on the fellow Russian. He couldn’t help but show the mental grin slip onto his face as well.

However, his amusement was short lived. All lights snapped out. Immediately alerted, Nicholai grabbed on tighter onto the railing. Then the train started to dangerously shake and shudder, throwing everyone except him off balance. It was followed by the sound of human screams and cries.

The only lighting then came from the adjacent wagon which had caught fire. Miss Valentine seemed to be clueless but Nicholai didn’t have to think twice on what the cause might be. While the Captain and Miss Valentine were still to busy figuring out what had happened, Nicholai was already backing off, getting to the next safe wagon.

He idly watched as his former team member got ripped away by the Nemesis. Its tentacle range was impressive. Miss Valentine had yelled the Russian’s name like it was a curse but he would not open the door for her.

“It’s not after me,” he sadistically winked before running away.

Although he wished he could’ve continued to watch the show, actually collect more data, Nicholai also knew he wasn’t immortal either. Not much later he heard the train carts behind him explode and he managed to rip open one of the doors and jump off the burning vehicle just in time. Once he got back to the surface, he had to continue his own secret mission.

***

In an abandoned office, Nicholai had managed to intercept a call send by the good doctor himself. He sounded like a total asshole, so full of himself, like most scientists. The only good thing that came out of this, was that Nicholai now knew where to find the bastard and finish him. And he now knew that Carlos and Tyrell were still alive and running. The clock was ticking, he had to act fast if he wanted that additional bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasted potential, aka Nicholai's way of saying it's a shame Carlos probs gonna die.  
> He really can't accept his feelings lmao. Everything has to have a logical reason behind it or Nicholai won't believe it. Everything has to be weighed for his personal gain and profit else it's not worth his time and amusement.


	11. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the end is here. Who will live and who will die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, if this was not a difficult chapter to write lol.  
> Nicholai is a difficult character to write and I hope I did the ending some justice.

_You can’t put a price on life._ Until you actually do. Nathaniel Bard had been an easy shot and price to win. The cowardice bastard all locked up in his little room in the hospital. But he was no match for someone as cold calculated as Nicholai. Pleas were nothing to him unless Bard could come up with a fatter price than his dead head would be worth.

Next there was the added budget that came from his data he recorded from Miss Valentine’s battle with a mutated Nemesis. It had also gained him the vaccine that she had unwillingly handed to him on a silver platter. That was one task less he had to do himself. But Miss Valentine was persistent, maybe even more than he was. She had managed to take the monster down and now she was facing the Russian once more. Both holding each other at gunpoint. It crossed his mind to just shoot her, be done with it but then the wall exploded behind them and a large pile of blubbery meat slithered into the room. It was the Nemesis who had mutated _again_.

Nicholai was more lucky and managed to stay on the second floor while the woman fell down together with the beast. The mercenary gawked at its new form, bigger and meatier than ever before. 

_Incredible_.

However, he was sure that if he’d stay here he could get hit, regarding that thing’s massive size: it almost took up the entire wall behind them. And even if he’d survive the fight, which he was sure of, not even a soldier like him, could outrun missiles and their explosions.

 _You can’t put a price on life_. It only applies to your own life, basically the motto he lived by for his entire life. Nicholai made a run for it. On top of the roof there were helicopters stationed. How utterly satisfying would it be if he’d be the only to get out of this literal hell hole?

“Nicholai, _stop_!” A voice he had not expected to hear again, made him come to an immediate halt.

Slowly he turned around as if, for the first time scared, to face another person. Carlos was standing there, his assault rifle aimed at Nicholai. This scenario was among one of the few things the Russian thought would never have to happen yet here they were. In his mind, he had hoped that Carlos would die some heroic dead so he would not have to deal with the aftermath of his absolute betrayal.

“Don’t be silly, drop the gun, Oliveira,” Nicholai snapped. For once, he didn’t easily raise his gun to another human being.

“Give us the vaccine!,” the younger merc bit back. _Us_ , he was talking about that woman. Of course he and Oliveira were no longer a team, _if_ the younger one even considered them anything. Not that Nicholai saw them as a team, no. Only on paper and during some missions, it didn’t extend further than that.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that,” when he was stepping closer to the chopper, Oliveira raised his rifle again, this time stepping nearer.

“Why, Nicholai? I thought you _died_. In that train…together with Mikhail. You know, for a second I thought I should’ve made time to mourn for you. Along with the others that we lost along the way.”

The idea that the young man would mourn a man like him, made Nicholai speechless. In the brief moment of his indecisiveness, Oliveira had gotten closer to him, standing face to face.

“And now-, then I heard from Jill that-”

“Don’t speak of that bitch!” Nicholai blurted out before he could stop himself.

The other merc peered at him. He couldn’t make up what that expression exactly meant. He lowered his gaze and in a low voice he grunted: “And then I learned that you’d betrayed her. _Us_. Even Mikhail. I knew you didn’t always care for others but-, I thought at least you might’ve cared about _me_.”

The latter came in harder than expected. Usually, Carlos put the importance for the collective, others above his own goals and ambitions, in that regard he actually wasn’t that much different from the woman Nicholai had just declared a bitch. But now came to the light that the young merc put his personal feelings on the front.

“Don’t be so delusional, Carlos,” his name came out wrong. Everything did. “You must not have paid enough attention.” _Oh, the guy had paid maybe too much attention back before this mission._ “That woman has poisoned your mind. I told you she was going to get you killed. One way or another.” _Don’t try to think too much_. Nicholai pulled his gun out. Before he had the time to shoot, Carlos fired first. However, he fired at the ground. _He pulled the trigger but without the intent to kill_.

The smaller man stormed toward him and knocked them both to the ground. He cursed.

“Tell me that isn’t true!” Carlos shouted. Angered and pained.

“We could have gotten out of here together,” Nicholai said without much thinking. Or maybe he did think _too_ much and he was crawling back on his words. But what had been said, was said.

The Corporal had dropped his own weapon and instead initiated hand to hand combat. Nicholai accepted the unspoken challenge and holstered his own gun away.

_But instead, you had to fall for the woman_. The Russian soldier mauled at the other man’s face but the latter was faster and ducked. His leg shot out, tackling the taller man.

Nicholai collapsed but transitioned his fall into a roll and Oliveira’s fist missed him by a hair. For a moment, he could imagine they were just sparring in a very serious manner. But this might be a dead-or-alive situation. _Would Carlos be able to pull the trigger when it counted?_ The voice in his head returned. After hours of repressing it to keep his head clear, of course now the darn thing had to come back to him in all force. Oh how he didn’t want it all to end like this. Damn this whole place to hell.

Their fight was initially balanced. Oliveira could keep up with him, just like he had in the training hall. It was difficult to find the weak spots, the young man could read almost every move of his. Nicholai decided to play more dirty and started using words.

“You were a fool to think there was something between us more than our ranks.”

He finally got a chokehold on the smaller man, his arms firmly wrapped around his neck, pressing him against his chest. Oliveira gasped and cursed, his fingers clutching onto Nicholai’s hands, trying to release him.

“In the end, you younglings are all the same. Bleeding hearts.” _And what about_ **your** _bleeding heart?_

Suddenly he felt the man’s fingers slide off his hands. Was he unconscious, had he given up? No, his body hadn’t gone numb yet. Something wet stained his hands. _Tears_. Something inside Nicholai started to crack.

“I see. You’re right.” Carlos sounded so defeated, hopeless. “I see now. It was all a lie and I fell for it. In the end…. I was just your fucking toy, wasn’t I? Just your little plaything to throw away once I was no longer needed! Isn’t that the truth, _Nicholai_?!”

Nicholai wished that were the truth. The Corporal, Oliveira, _Carlos_ was talking too much for a man on the brink of dying. Shit. He should just end it here, right now. He had a helicopter to catch and-

**You can’t put a price on life.** _Especially if that life belongs to the most **important** person in your life._

Carlos’ life was on the line. _A line you drew, created_. Then Nicholai delivered a blow to the captured man’s head, knocking him unconscious.

He ran over to the helicopter and started to prepare his leave. An unreasonable idea crept into his mind as he stared at Oliveira’s body. Nicholai’s heart was beating louder than ever. With every breath he took, he felt something crack inside. _Don’t think, don’t think, don’t-_

“ _Carlos!_ ” A both wanted and unwanted distraction came in the form of Miss Valentine. Somehow she must’ve beaten the Nemesis and was now on the roof, kneeling next to the fallen soldier.

Nicholai took no time in observing how gentle she was with the unconscious man, her fingers brushing over his face. He kicked her away from Oliveira and easily disarmed her in the process.

Sadistic as ever, he put the vial up in the air for his struggling target to see. He was going to hand her the vaccine until he wasn’t. A quick shot and the hope for the city was shattered in an instant.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Nothing really mattered anymore. Now with Carlos out of the picture, it really did not matter anymore. Money would be his only solace after all this was over. “My client ordered me to reduce Umbrella to rubble.” Over ten minutes he would no longer have to think about this horrible situation.

“Good-bye, Miss Valentine. A shame you didn’t’ listen to me when you had the chance.” Had it not been for her, Carlos would have lived. He would have been on _his_ side.

_This is all your **own** fault._

Distracted by the relentless voice, Nicholai hadn’t noticed the other man getting up again and now he was thrown off balance, Carlos basically on him. His rational thought took over and the Russian aimed his gun at his former colleague who managed to disarm him before he had the chance to pull the trigger. The fight was rough, laboured. Anger was the only emotion that Nicholai could feel in the moment. He was angry at Jill, who had poisoned the younger mercenary with her mysterious charm. He was angry at Carlos, who had taken her side, who had dared to hold him at gunpoint and then actually couldn’t pull the trigger when it counted.

And mostly he was angry at himself. That he let himself slip, become too distracted and troubled to make proper decisions when they were needed most.

Nicholai played dirty nonetheless. He hit the other man just hard enough to throw him off balance and to make him feel every punch he was subjected to, but none of those kicks were lethal. In someway, it was like playing with his prey. But in this context, it more felt like Nicholai had no clue on how to kill the man he wanted the most.

Those seconds of indecisiveness costed him important time. By the time he was fully conscious again, he was too baffled that Miss Valentine, of all people, had gotten him into a chokehold, that he could not move himself. He stared into dark eyes. Something told him this would be the final time. An image came back to him, something he thought to had buried a long time ago. It were those same eyes before him, all gentle, soft and heart-breaking. A stinging reminder how Nicholai as well was all too human. A look that now only seemed like a ridiculous fantasy instead of a bittersweet _real_ memory.

“Shoot the greedy son of a bitch!” Jill yelled, her words sharp and loud in his ears.

“I can’t, I’ll hit you!” The young merc stammered. Nicholai was still stunned, pinned to the floor. He hated how he couldn’t look away from those eyes, his faith. Were those tears in Carlos’ eyes? His lips moved without producing any sound. _I’m sorry._

A shot had been fired. The bullet hurt less than the unspoken words that hovered between the two men, inaudible. Jill released him and Nicholai dropped to his knees, a hand automatically gripped to where Carlos had shot him: close above his heart. He had shot him. _He pulled the trigger when it counted when **you**_ **_could not._**

At utter loss for fitting words, not even having the strength left to _beg_ , Nicholai just crumbled. Pathetically. He watched how the remaining duo mounted the chopper, ready to leave. Jill was the one who stared at him the longest. Carlos was already starting the engines. Once the helicopter took off, Nicholai started to really feel the pain of the bullet wound. Blood was gushing out of it, drenching his entire hand and vest. And still, nothing could have hurt more than Carlos’ words, each of them stinging him, piercing right through him, and the man’s tears and pain. All of it was just too much. Too much to process, to bear and carry.

Nicholai started to realise something. In the end, it had been _his_ heart that was cracking up and bleeding dry. _He_ was the one who could not pull the trigger when it counted.

This is the price he paid for being such a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotions were something the Russian thought he did not have, could not possess. But now they were all that was left of him. The only thing he could feel.  
> An ironic end to a character who is in complete denial that he has , gasp, emotions too!  
> In his fight to suppress them, discard of them, he eventually lost to them, destroyed by being too human after all :')
> 
> Throughout the chapter I planted even more seeds to show that he was crumbling, that his feelings for Carlos were undoing him, making him hesitate too much (the jealousy, hesitation, his actual fear to face someone, not shooting carlos immediately etc).  
> Becos although he keeps saying that 'you can't put a price on life" he really only meant his own life up until he met Carlos >:)
> 
> I exchanged Carlos with Oliveira and Corporal here and there on purpose. I saw it as a way of Nicholai trying to distance himself from the man he loves, to make their 'relationship' more formal, detached of emotional weight.
> 
> I swapped the ending positions to give it the story more emotional weight lol. I think it makes the ending more ironic for Nicholai too. Poetic justice right at ya.  
> Once again, it was his inner turmoil that rendered him an incapable fighter, hence JIll being able to overpower him in his final moments >:)


End file.
